Larry David Quotes In English

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Larry David Quotes In English

Hello, Welcome in a collection of quotes and thoughts by Larry David on enthusiasm, women, humiliation, humor, comedy, writing, plays, dating, love, heart and romance. Our team gives you some quotes about Larry David. He was born on 2 July 1947 (age 72 years), Brooklyn, New York, United States. Lawrence Gene David is an American comedian, writer, actor, director, and television producer. He and Jerry Seinfeld created the television series Seinfeld, of which David was the head writer and executive producer for the first seven seasons. His Net worth is US$400 million in 2020.

  • “You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes.”

  • “I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.”

  • “I couldn’t be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.”

  • “Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good.”

  • “I don’t like to say anything good. I feel like I’ll jinx myself.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair… Change my name, just see what happens.”

  • “I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.”

  • “Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.”

  • “I don’t really know much about TV and what people want to see. I’m not that well-informed about it.”

  • “And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “Sure, being a reservist wasn’t as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.”

  • “Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.”

  • “Drugs scared me.”

  • “I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.”

  • “In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I have quite a house. People come over and I go, ‘I know, I’m sorry.’”

  • “The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don’t like to have hot food for lunch.”

  • “I don’t like people cleaning my room.”

  • “I’ve been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don’t need to know anymore.”

  • “People don’t yell nasty things at actors – they let them continue.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I’m a walking, talking enigma.”

  • “Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!”

  • “No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all.”

  • “You have to discover when you’re inadequate to be funny and you don’t know you’re inadequate when you’re a kid.”

  • “OK, I’m happy. I’m happy. All right? I’m happy.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money – this is the guy who needs to laugh.”

  • “Women love a self-confident bald man.”

  • “The temperature in that hangar would sometimes get down to 40 degrees, and very often I had to put on long underwear, which was so restrictive I suffered from an acute vascular disorder for days afterward.”

  • “Golf and dating don’t mix.”

  • “I’m not quite as anonymous as I was.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I’m surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.”

  • “An employee is told that the customer is always right and, in fact, the customer is usually a moron and as asshole”

  • “I’m not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There’s no closure.”

  • “I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors – the thieves don’t impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time. I’d rather give them things than time.”

  • “Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn’t normally.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.”

  • “Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I’m – basically inside, I’m a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over.”

  • “A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied”

  • “Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.”

  • “All of a sudden I discovered that I’m allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “When I was living in New York and didn’t have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I’d think, that’ll be good, that’ll be a good spot for me when I’m homeless.”

  • “Most of the time I’m thinking, I’m glad that scene was improvised.”

  • “Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.”

  • “It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.”

  • “When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “The addition of nuts in salad… I always find to be beneficial.”

  • “I gave a funny speech at my wife’s birthday party, and I’m thinking, ‘Hey, I’ve still got it.’”

  • “Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m Jewish.”

  • “I’m a walking, talking enigma. We’re a dying breed.”

  • “I learned the first night that IHOP’s not the place to order fish.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.”

  • “It’s always good to take something that’s happened in your life and make something of it comedically.”

  • “When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street – things like that.”

  • “I have no secrets.”

  • “I don’t write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that’s going to happen. There’s an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I can’t stand reading anything that I’ve said.”

  • “I believe in something.”

  • “I’m really only happy when I’m on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That’s what I’m all about – people and laughter.I”

  • “You know, I’m really not that bright.”

  • “Obviously comedic styles do change.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “There’s also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.”

  • “If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.”

  • “My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.”

  • “It’s not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn’t happen that often.”

  • “Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn’t involve a woman.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I’ve led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.”

  • “When I’m in social situations I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don’t have to shake hands”

  • “I think golf is literally an addiction. I’m surprised there’s not Golf Anonymous.”

  • “Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I’m very casual about it.”

  • “I don’t take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “I tell people that I’ve now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.”

  • “I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.”

  • “There’s a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.”

  • “I think we’re all good and bad, but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.”

  • “At first, I didn’t realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “It has to do – I think – with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.”

  • “The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it’s the best of both worlds. There’s a lot to be said for it.”

  • “I don’t like to make a big splash anyway.”

  • “I don’t think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It’s not even interesting to me.”

  • “If I wasn’t a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable.”

  • Larry David Quotes In English

  • “You can’t do anything in life. The social barriers in life are so intense and horrific that every encounter is just fraught with so many problems and dread. Every social situation is a potential nightmare.”

  • “Switzerland is a place where they don’t like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.”

  • “Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m deaf and I try to imagine what it’s like not to be able to hear them. It’s not that bad.”

  • “I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.”

  • “I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.”

  • “I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word ‘happy’ has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, ‘happy.’”

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